How to Teach your Kids about Money and Responsibility

Dear Kid Whisperer,

Should my kids have to pay for a game they broke?

Yep.

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I’ve been informed by my editor that I have not reached my minimum word count.

Hmm. Perhaps I can use the remainder of the space to explain my answer and to answer what is usually the next question many parents ask: How do I make it so that my kids have money to use to solve this problem?

When kids cause problems, they should be required to solve those problems, and paying for breaking things is just one of the hundreds of ways that I teach parents to require their kids to solve problems that they have caused. Solving problems builds responsibility. Here’s how it can be done in this case:

Kid Whisperer: Oh, man. I see that you used superglue on the Mousetrap board game.

Kid #1: Yes. We wished to make the benefits of our hard work permanent.

Kid Whisperer: Oh, man. We can’t play this game anymore. Do you guys know how you are going to solve this problem?

Kid #1: Nothing comes to mind.

Kid Whisperer: OK. I checked, and this game retails for $30. You each owe me $15.

Kid #2: As the responsible one, I shall go retrieve that money for you from my piggy bank post haste! (Kid #2 does just that)

Kid #1: As the irresponsible one who has not yet learned to be a person, I hereby refuse to comply with your proposed arrangement.

Kid Whisperer: I thought that this might happen, so I already retrieved the $15 from your piggy bank.

Kid: Drat.

Now, how do we make it so your kids have money, and why do we want them to have money in the first place? Let’s answer the second question first.

We want kids to have money so that they can learn to have money. They’ll need to do so in life, and the sooner they can learn life lessons regarding money, the better.

Here’s how we make it so that your kids can learn these lessons: Starting on the Sunday after a kid’s third birthday, they start getting three dollars every Sunday. The Sunday after their fourth birthday, they start getting four dollars: on and on until after their 18th birthday, at which point, they begin getting 0 dollars per week as they embark upon a life as an adult.

“WHAT?!?!?!” You say. They’ll get 17 dollars per week when they’re 17?!?! I can’t possibly afford that!”

The answer to that is that you probably can afford it if you only buy your kid(s)

1. The clothes you want to buy them

2. The food you want to buy them

3. Presents on their birthdays and appropriate holidays

That’s it. The benefits of doling out money this way are too numerous to mention, but they include:

1. Kids learn to value money by using it wisely and unwisely and comparing the results of each.

2. Kids become much more grateful for presents.

3. Kids won’t nag you about buying them things while at the store because they know what you buy for kids and what you don’t buy for kids (see a., b., and c.). This may lead to kids keeping copious notes to make a list of things they will ask for on holidays and birthdays. See 2).

4. Kids will tend to desperately want to seek and keep real employment the second that it is a legal possibility: “NINE DOLLARS PER HOUR!! PER HOUR!!!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY ACTION FIGURES I’M GOING TO BE ABLE TO BUY WHEN I TURN 14 AND CAN GET A JOB BUSSING TABLES???”

Finally, allow your kids to buy anything that won’t hurt them, according to your values and beliefs. If you feel that kids should never eat sugar, buying candy is not allowed. Violent video games doesn’t fit into your value structure? Your kids can’t buy violent video games. Do you (correctly) feel like  smart phones hurt kids’ brains? They can’t buy a smartphone. It’s their money, but it’s your family and your values.

Hopefully, these extra words can make it so that when your 18-year-old gets 0 dollars on the Sunday after their 18th birthday, they will be already be able to earn and handle money in a functional, effective way!