Kid Whisperer Nation Teacher Tips #181-185
Kid Whisperer Nation Teacher Tip #181
BE SAD WITH A STUDENT
During non-instructional time, talking with a student about a sad, hurtful, or even tragic situation in a kid’s life is a difficult but essential part of being a teacher. If the kid allows you in to discuss the matter, don’t feel that you need to fix anything, or offer advice. Just make sure you are there with the kid, and you are sad with them. Be sad together. Fixing and problem-solving out may come later, but just be sad together at first.
Kid Whisperer Nation Teacher Tip #182
WITHIN EVERY CHOICE THERE IS A HEALTHY REFUSAL
Every time you give a student a choice (“You can do ‘a’ or ‘b’”) you are handing them a lot of control. You are giving them the power of being able to refuse to do what you asked in a healthy, pro-social way. 50% of a choice is a refusal. This gives kids the control necessary so that their brains are able to learn without them trying to get this control with outright refusal, which is anti-social. Some kids will take control in any way they can: better to give control in such a way that it doesn’t cause problems, rather than having kids take control in ways that do!
Kid Whisperer Nation Teacher Tip #183
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO IS FINE
These are magic words that can follow a properly given choice to your students. After you have given two choices, either of which you are OK with, you can add these words, which supercharge a kid’s control need being fulfilled:
“You can do this now, or any time before you go home today. Whatever you want to do is fine.”
Kid Whisperer Nation Teacher Tip #184
USE AN EAVESDROP LOVE BOMB
Within earshot of your students, tell another adult or another student about how much you love a former student. Go on and on about how awesome that kid is. This will let your students know that you have the capacity to appreciate and love them. It will let them know that you notice and appreciate certain positive behaviors and characteristics and it will give them a roadmap for how to be noticed and appreciated.
Kid Whisperer Nation Teacher Tip #185
LOVE TO THE BELL
It is fashionable to encourage teachers to “Teach to the bell” and jam pack instruction into every second of every day. This is actually good practice, more or less. But, in practice, it is even more important that the teacher be engaged with students in an activity that may or may not be academic. For middle and high school students who have eight periods per day, yes, having rigorous instruction from bell to bell is the goal, as long as we are giving each kid eye contact, a smile, and a goodbye as they leave—preferably while saying their name and using quick physical contact such as a fist bump or a slap on the back.
When teachers, particularly elementary teachers, have a lag time between when bussers or car riders leave, fun, relationship-building activities should be offered (two or three choices). This shows that you want to be engaged with your students, while watching a movie or checking your email tells students that you literally cannot wait until they are gone.