Dear Kid Whisperer,

I am an elementary school recess monitor. We have more than 100 students and there are four of us. We have four different 20-minute recesses, and by the end, we are all exhausted. All of us hate our jobs. Kids are tackling each other left and right, pushing, and this sometimes escalates into fights. We tell them to stop, and it makes it worse. We tell their teachers, who used to be helpful, but now they’re frustrated with us, as is the principal. We’ve tried everything. Nothing works. What do we do? -Martha, Indianapolis, Indiana

Martha,

Kids don’t tend to listen to what we say, but they do pay attention when we take action. When we say things like, “Don’t grab him”, a difficult kid hears “I’m allowed to grab him at least once and no one’s going to do anything about it, so I might as well investigate what happens if I grab him twice. Here goes.”

When you have 20 of these Behavioral Pioneers on a playground at once, and you are systematically warning students and tattling to their teachers, chaos is guaranteed to ensue.

As someone who does demonstration teaching on playgrounds and who trains recess monitors for a living, I can tell you that you need comprehensive strategies and procedures for the playground, but this one strategy will be a good start to improve your life and make your playground a safer and calmer place to be.

Many behaviors on playgrounds can be mitigated with Gentle Guidance Interventions, for example climbing the wrong way on the slide (“How do we use the slide?”) or a kid yelling rudely at another kid (“Think, Robert”). However, grabbing and tackling, even playfully, needs an immediate Learning Opportunity because of the nature of even playful grabbing: it’s not a problem until it is. And then, it’s a big problem. So, here’s how I used the Practice Area Learning Opportunity yesterday on a playground.

Kid #1, Kid #2, and Kid #3 are in a Kid Pile on the ground like playful puppies.

Kid Whisperer: Oh, boy. Kids, follow me to the Practice Area.

Kid Whisperer leads Kids off to an area just off the beaten recess path.

Kid Whisperer: Oh, boy. You three are really struggling with not tackling each other, which is a skill that we require here at recess. So, just stand here, like so, about a foot away from each other, and practice not tackling each other.

Kid #2: Are you serious?

Kid Whisperer: Oh, boy. I don’t argue. Once you show me that you know how to not tackle, you will be allowed to be at recess. Practice starts…now!

Kid Whisperer continues to monitor recess, giving much attention to all of the other kids who are playing, while keeping an eye on those in the practice area. Every minute or so, he says the following to those practicing successfully:

Kid Whisperer: I notice that you all are not tackling each other!

Kid Whisperer (usually with under four minutes left of recess, to students who have been successful): You folks look like you are experts at not tackling. Are you all experts at not tackling?

Kid #1, Kid #2, and Kid #3: Yes.

Kid Whisperer: Alright then! Get out of here and have fun!

Kid #1, Kid #2, and Kid #3 get out of there and have fun.

Students who are belligerent, or who try tackling again will find themselves in the Practice Area every day at recess all recess until they can show that they can calmly not tackle others, which is an important life skill!